all women were bigger and stronger than you
and thought they were smarter
women were the ones who started wars
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos
and no K-Y Jelly
the state trooper
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike
was a woman
and carried a gun
the ability to menstruate
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs
your attractiveness to women depended
on the size of your penis
every time women saw you
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands
women were always making jokes
about how ugly penises are
and how bad sperm tastes
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car
to big sweaty women with greasy hands
who stared at your crotch
in a garage where you are surrounded
by posters of naked men with hard-ons
men’s magazines featured cover photos
of 14-year-old boys
tucked into the front of their jeans
and articles like:
“How to tell if your wife is unfaithful”
“What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate”
“The truth about impotence”
the doctor who examined your prostate
was a woman
and called you “Honey”
you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath
as she insisted that sleeping with her
was part of the job
you couldn’t get away because
the company dress code required
you wear shoes
designed to keep you from running
And what if
after all that
women still wanted you
to love them.
i remember once i was walking to class near this group of guys and one of them saw his girlfriend and one of his friends was like “c’mon man bros before hoes” and the guy looked him dead in the eye and said “she’s the bro and y’all bitches are the hoes” before going to talk to his girlfriend and i have never seen a group of guys in sagging jeans and ridiculous shoes look so offended
So my facebook friend just posted this pic with this text….Well, I just witnessed blatant racial injustice with my own eyes. I was getting in my car after exiting a store when a young black man stumbled past me and collapsed against the store wall. When I got out to see if he was okay, a group of white people came rushing over, one of whom was a 20-something white woman who declared in distress, “I ran a red light and hit him with my car!” People immediately assured her that SHE would be okay, meanwhile the young man is writhing in pain on the ground, pants leg torn, tears running down his face. When the police arrived and the young woman explained what happened, it was suggested to her that maybe the light had been yellow and that the young man had “darted out into the street into her path.” I was floored. I said, “But she just SAID she ran the red light and hit him in the intersection!”
"OH MY GOD! THE CAR IS DAMAGED! YOU POOR CAR!"
Breaking news: White fuckboys on twitter bitching how funny it is that Beyoncé is a feminist when she and her dancers were provocative and half naked. Despite feminism being about empowerment and a woman’s right to do whatever the hell she pleases with it, they just don’t seem to be able to grasp this concept.
In other news, men still don’t know what feminism is, still bitter that they aren’t Beyoncé and still making themselves look like asses on the internet.
And now the weather.
I bet 5 minutes later they slid up in some DM’s asking for nudes
you know these assholes had NO PROBLEM with anything in her show until that word popped up
it’s not nudity they have a problem with
it’s a woman who is empowered and in control of how when and why she dresses and dances how she wants
when their precious male gaze is questioned or dismissed, suddenly she’s a terrible feminist, and they try and shame her for the very thing that was turning them on seconds before
Men are fine with women being naked or scantily clad as long as they don’t feel good about it, apparently.
it’s gonna take a couple days for the internet to be set up in my apartment so just a heads up i might be a bit absent!
An actually really important scene, that was too unnecesary to be left in the episode, with its 30 seconds. They had to cut this and make Laurel seem like an idiot, who stayed in the building everyone told her to get out of. Her why’s are important.
Get to know me meme → [4/5] current celebrity crushes → Chris Pratt
Just be yourself and forget all of the stuff you read in ‘GQ’ magazine.
why are people against the ice bucket challenge it’s for a good cause and you get to see all these celebrities in wet clothing clinging to their chests what is the downside why do you not like joy